I don’t know why, but you’re smilin’ & it’s something’ i like on your face, yeah it suits you.

if your plan is to get me to stop, its working no doubt. but don’t push me so far that i end up hating you. and dont blame me if i ever do. i dont talk you get annoyed, i talk you still get annoyed. what more do you want? what can i do? that that i dont love helping you out, and doing you favors, but there’s something called appreciation and im obviously not getting any.

So let’s just stay in the moment, smoke some weed, drink some wine, reminisce talk some shit forever young is in your mind

this is so ridiculous i cant tell if you’re being serious or what. its pissing me off the way you talk to me. im not one of the guys okay? keep in mind that i’m still a fucking girl and i do have feelings. i’m not some peice of shit, im not one of your guy friends. so fucking treat me right or fuck off. cos im sick and tired of your shit. i wont put up with it anymore. took me fucking nine months to understand that i deserve more than this. shame on me for taking too long to fucking realize that.what do you expect? that i’ll stick around and let you treat me this way? i’ve said time and time again that i wont leave because i think your worth everything i have, i’d go through anything to make you happy. no matter what it is, but what about my happiness? dont i deserve some? i’d let go of that day if i could believe me. but im in so deep, ive dug myself in a hole and i can not get out of it. god ive done so much for you and i get nothing in return i know that. and yet i still think you deserve all that i can give. what a fucking fool i am, right?

yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though they’re here to stay.

things had to be touched, broken. lies had to be told, enemies had to be made. friendships fell apart, and feelings had to be kept inside. if everyone was just honest with each other from the beginning, i don’t think things would have fallen apart the way it has. if assumptions were never to be made, no one would hate each other right now. i think things were so much better at the beginning of the year, why did we have to ruin it with our lies and assumptions? tell the truth, hate for a real reason. i’m sick and tired of having to split the group into two. no, im sick and tired of you two making the group choose and making them scared of knowing that they’re with me. big deal, i really dont give two flying fucks if they were with you two, cos unlike you guys i understand that they’re still friends with you so obvs. you are going to hang out, but you two need to understand im their friend too, deal with that. we’re going to hang out.

and i dont understand why you guys are still friends with those two, tell me daily how you hate them, think they’re annoying, yet here we are, still hanging out with them and shit. be honest, you all probably like them, just put on that fake face that you all hate them so you all don’t make fun of each other or some shit. if thats the truth, let me tell you now, that shits pathetic. if you like them go fucking like them and be their friend, dont go talk shit behind their backs and think you’re all cool afterwards. fucking pathetic.

seriously, if you have no other topic of interest to talk about, dont bother talking to me. i’m actually so sick and tired of having to hear her name, listening to your stupid ways of how you want to get her. stfu you’re pissing me off.

darlin’ im down and lonely, when with the fortunate only.

go ahead, talk about getting those hoes and sluts. go talk about how you feel lonely, go talk about how you hate your life, think you have no friends. i’m here, ive always been here , and i’ll always be here. when are you going to get that? i havent left, and i wont be leaving for awhile, but honestly, i want to leave. you shouldn’t be worth my time and yet you always will be. “you probably think im unthankful of you” so what, you are thankful of me? why dont you try to show it more? and when we’re talking about something serious, how about you keep on subject instead of uphing me. thanks. and it really wouldn’t hurt to show a little appreciation, its all i really want.

god, you are so dumb. so what he wanted to go to the library with me, sorry he doesnt want to be around you and your “boyfriend” trying everything you can to get him to go with you instead, making threats you’ll hate him forever ahaha. faaaag srsly. he doesnt even know why hes friends with you, alot of people question that and so do i. do everyone a favor and just leave. not like anyone wants you there, or cares if you arent. (:

hey soul sister, aint that mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move just isn’t fair.

i think i have the greatest times with hang and kevin oh goddd. kevin farting like crazy, his stupid smelly feet, making him wash it, hang dancing to baby, falling up the stairs running into boxes trying on dresses taking pictures in change rooms webcam pictures. oh theres too much i love you two, with all my being <3

i wish i could make you feel better, you say you hate your life, your lonely and bored. im here ): i’m willing to keep you company even if for five minutes of your day. i asked you how i could help you feel better, you said “nothing”. waah i want to do something, theres something i can do i know itt. just tell me.

I’m wondering what you’re dreaming, wondering if it’s me you’re seeing.

reaaallly? they had to come along to the library too? don’t they understand its a LIBRARY, no you don’t talk and laugh at the top of your lungs. and yeah i’m mad at you. what happened to “i’ll stay in the middle, im not going to take sides” bullshit you just took their side! and you expect me to be okay with that? i know i said i wouldnt expect people to take sides, and i dont expect you to be on mine, but you said yourself you wouldnt pick a side either and there you go!

and you’re the one going around asking if im mad at you why would you care if i was if you dont like me? saying “why does she hang out with her” makes you feel better? hello! shes my bestfriend everyone knows it, and obviously you’re too dumb to see that. argh kfjgbkufdho all i wanted to do was study in peace and get some work done. you three drove away that poor man trying to READ god you guys are so inconsiderate, screaming into the phone. and i love how your “boyfriend” left to “find a chair” and never came back HAHA stupid. that part says alot.

i didnt do anything to you. really, i dont understand why you’re upset. i went to the mall today and msged you to see if you needed anything cos you asked me last night. and you answer in regret that you didnt msg me back because you only needed something. i give alot, i do alot for you, i go out of my own way to try and do things for you. dont ask me why, i dont know why i go through so much for you. and i receive nothing in return, i dont understand why i put up with that. but i do.

if i fall, if i die, know i lived it to the fullest.

new drama, old drama. pms day was fun. there’s no need to get so worked up about absolutely nothing! everyone has an opinion and being the great friend she is, she decided to tell hers, you girls don’t need to get so upset that there’s actually a human being out there that dislikes what you do. get over yourselves please. and a simple thank you would be nice when someone picks up your broken phone, understandable that you hate me, but don’t make yourself look more of a bitch than you already are. sorry that i’m actually a decent person and you just don’t like to admit it. do you girls really hate these people? or just think they’re annoying, so you try to find every possible reason to hate them? real mature. why don’t you all learn to hate someone because  you have a legit reason to.

im glad you’ve learned that you should stay. i love the closeness we share. every minute of it. but im afraid im getting too attached, the thought of us drifting scares me. when i don’t receive that msg or phone call  it worries me. but i know i shouldn’t because you and i are nothing.  it’s just like, when you think i ignore your msgs you get worried too,  you think im mad at you. does that mean something? i just need a clarification on our status and i’ll be fine.

we spend days without speaking one word to each other, the moment we do, it feels wrong. that shouldn’t be the way things work but it is. yeah, we were close once but you forgot that and moved on to the next one. you would go to extremes to keep this one happy. neglect and disappointment is all i expect from you.

ii miss the paast. party hoppin three days in a row, driving home at 8 am going back the next day around 4 pm and starting all over again. go dan go! poke andy game, charades, layin in bed tellin eachother ghosts stories. endless memories, and we none of us even keep in touch anymore. we all grew up, but sometimes i wish we hadnt.

honesttly, you just need to stfu for awhile, jumping back and forth, debating whether she’d worth.  you dont love her  i know that, you really did you wouldnt have one doubt in your mind that you shouldnt go for her and the two of you won’t work out. just shut up. please im so sick of hearing your shit.

do you know i exist to promise you this? endlessly to be true to you.

it doesn’t get anymore childish than this. getting mad because you didn’t get invited ? how long you’ve known each other isn’t a factor, when was the last time you talked to him? I’m sorry that somewhere along the way, i became closer to him and we’ve only met this year. i can’t help that. but please, just grow up. the world won’t end because you were asked to come.

please, no one needs to see your bare ass each time you bend over. its called getting the right size of clothing. or maybe, some real fabric to cover yourself up. have you no shame? selling your titties like they’re nothing? no one needs to see the front or back of you, so save yourself the shit talk and cover up. no one wants to see it, and no one finds it attractive, not even the guys you’re trying to hard to impress and win over. sorry to break it to you sweetheart, but you’re nothing but a hoe in their eyes.

you’re one in a million! it’s s hard to find a friend like you, and im glad i have you (: you always make me feel so much better about everything that’s going on. i hate to hear when you say you’re afraid you’re going to become a no one, someone with no social life. or how you think you have to try so hard to not be awkward around the group. i hate to see you feel so upset about this, and no one thinks of you as less than what you are. you’re an amazing friend and it’s difficult to get you to see that, but I’m determined to let you know.

i hate that i have such a regular routine everyday. i always know what’s going to happen next. i want something unexpected to happen sometimes. but i can’t complain when i know you’re coming up next in my day. but when something unexpected does happen, it feels like my day has been tampered with, and ruins it all. or when something’s missing from my day, it feels wrong. i won’t be receiving that phone call tonight, it already feels empty.

i love jphan.

i can change your life.

aahh, honestly im never going to get away from any of this drama. ive never asked for it, its always brought upon me. and i hate this.  i’ve done nothing and im being accused of everything. but for you to go to such lengths as to lying to make me sound worse? and for you to tell me you didnt mind that him and i spoke because thats what you wanted. so i do and you hate me for it? make up your mind please, because im tired of this. all of it. and this time im done trying to make it all better. i wont try to fix it. i’m done fixing this situation. you can make all the false threats you want,  i know you’re all talk. all three of you. when you really come to talk to me, maybe ill change my mind on that last point. but right now, you’re all bullshitters to me.

i’m content with the way we are. no more no less. this is how it should always be, no ones getting hurt and its fun. natural. it doesnt matter that we’re not more than friends. i want to keep this relationship forever. and it wont happen if you leave next year.  i want to ask you to stay, but that’s too selfish, plus you’re unhappy here. and the last thing i want ever is for you to be unhappy. no matter where you are i just want you to smile.  even if it means i wont get to see you and we’ll grow distant. this feeling is always going to be there, im not bothering to get rid of it. because i dont mind.  i dont want to miss that moment that comes if you ever decide to return these feelings.  i said i wouldnt wait, yet here we are.

i’ve grown to love you, it was wrong to hate you ever.  jealousy got the best of me in the past and i shouldnt have let it. what happened in the beginning was childish and it should never happen again. i’ve grown to love this friendship we’ve made and whats done is done. leave the past in the past. it wont be a part of our future ever again. i hate that i was close to one person and you were close to another and somewhere we switched. and we were close to each others people.

i dislike how distant we’ve all become. i hate how somewhere along the way we just stopped talking..how replacements were natural and happened all the time.  it feels like we’ve all neglected each other on some level. how we can jump around and choose who want to be close to next. its a sickening thought, and i hate that its happened every month.

i’m not expecting anyone to take sides, that would be the worst thing to ask anyone to do. but you being my bestfriend and i being yours? you’re the only expectation i have, that you wont settle in between, sit on the fence, but you’ll come to my side. it would be a disappointment to see otherwise.

i want this summer to be one to remember, not like the other summers ive had. i want this one to be full of adventure and excitement, memories to be made and friendships that become stronger then ever.  a summer that i’ll never forget. a summer with intimate moments, with laughter. a summer with full of events. late night conversations, early morning walks. everything we can think of, i want to do it all.

im so determined to make the rest of my years here worth it, i dont want to look back 5 years from now and say that my highschool experience and the person i was during it all was bad. i dont want to say that highschool was the worst years of my life, i want it to be good. happy. i dont want to regret anything that i did,  said, or didnt do and say. i want to leave this place with nothing but good memories and cherished friendships. over all, i just want to be happy, through it all.

is this my final chance of getting you?

spring break! finallly, one week to get away from everything, everyone. school is too tiring. reaaallly who gives homework during spring break? stupid english. only 5 months til i mooove! i cant wait, progress report: they juuust built the roof and put in all the bath tubs amazinggg.! i felt like a criminal though! the doors on the house was locked but my dad like broke in LOL and we went inside to explore see whats up. my room is huuuge! cant wait <3 <3 and peeeople are soo dumb omg. honestly if you make a fb group asking for peoples numbers for your phone give me your goddamn number. dont join and stay quiet. stupid people -_-