it hurts to know that someone you thought you were really close to, turned their back on you. never have i felt so much stupidity on my part, for putting so much trust into you after everything that happened with him too. i gave our friendship another try because i didnt think one boy was worth losing a friendship over, but i was wrong. behind my back you went and said so many unnecessary things to that person, who knows shit about me. therefore has no right whatsoever to be saying that kind of shit about me. because of one boy you’re going to throw away a friendship that you constructed and made it seem like we were tight. im not the one whose fake, to get that straight, i’ve been forreals since day one, i was the one who was hurt so how could i have been the fake one? i’m sorry things turned out the way it did between you guys, im sorry he walked out, im sorry his feelings changed. im sorry that you feel i interfered, but if i really did interfered wouldnt you have ended faster and we wouldve not been friends? if i really wanted to hurt you, i could tell you the things that have been going on between him and i, but unlike you i’ve been a good friend, i’ve chosen not to hurt you and put you through that pain. im sorry i read those messages, but im glad i did, i wont be in such a fake friendship anymore. things have changed, i’ve opened my eyes to see who i can trust and cant trust. its just disappointing that this is the way i had to find out the way you really feel about me. thing is, you and your friend think im purposely trying to rub it in your face that me and him have a close relationship now. no that was NEVER my intention, and dont you dare believe that it ever was. you asked me to tell you what was wrong, you asked me to tell you what was happening TWICE, after i had said no, because it will hurt you. you dont think that line right there makes me a damn good friend? if not, then i dont know what your interpretation of a good friend is. i thought of your feelings didnt i? yeah, if i really wanted to be a backstabbing motherfucker as your friend put it i wouldnt care about your feelings, ever. and tell you absolutely everything him and i have done and said.
“I miss what we had, what we could have been. I DIDN’T EVEN CARE THAT WE WEREN’T IN A RELATIONSHIP, just as long as we talked. Fuck, I am THE girl. I will ALWAYS be THE girl. He never kissed her, sucker. He never told her he never felt this way about anyone before, sucker.”
if only you knew before you had written that line, that he did kiss me, and that he did say those words to me, and that he’s told me several times he doesnt want to hurt me the way he hurt you, he doesnt want to walk out on me the way he walked out on you. he doesnt want to make a mistake with me and cause me or him pain, what do you think that says about him? sounds like he cares more about hurting me than he ever did about you. you’re making it sound as if you’re the only girl for him, that you’re what he needs. if you were really what we needed or was looking for he wouldnt say those words to me. wanna know what he really thinks about you? he tells me everyday he thinks you’re obnoxious, thinks your annoying and dumb, why do you think hes such a dick to you now? yeah he thinks your friend there is pretty annoying too. he said to my face, “you’re the only girl ive let into my place, ive never done this with any other girl but you, i made her stand outside my house and wait. i let you in, and in my room, on my bed.” did you know he calls me at night too? doesnt matter if im sleeping, he knows but he calls, just to say hi. can i call you a sucker now? because im sure not one. i spent an entire day with him at his house, and you never got that chance did you? so you really are the sucker right? and its really nice to know his family actually likes me. thinks im normal and good for him, while they refer to you as that annoying girl with the white glasses. trust me sweetheart, if i really wanted to hurt you and destroy this “friendship”, these words wouldve crawled right out of my mouth right into your ears. and consider this, before you run your mouth about me again to your friend there, why dont you get your facts straight? i know more than you think, im not dumb. i know you two had history, i was part of it remember? endless nights of tears over you two. i know you two have done more, he told me obviously because he trusts me. you say to me, you’re such a good friend, thinking of how my feelings are going to be hurt, yeah thats cos i am. even through all of this, i choose not to tell you anything, because i dont need to. i wont sink to your level. you opened up to me, about your fam and everything and you consider my friendship a joke, what did you think? that i thought this was all a joke too? cos when i open up to you about my family its a complete lie right? think about it. just think. for one second. you make it seem like im the bad person, like im the one causing trouble. everything i’ve told you, every problem you’ve asked for it. and dont you dare turn this around on me. and if your friend there, is so bad ass, like her messages seem, id like to see her confront me about this, when she sees me when im..not presentable as she put it. what have i done wrong? i’ve done everything YOU’VE asked me to do. forget about this, forget about this friendship that never existed, cos it was a lie from the beginning and it would be a lie now. what makes you think i’ll ever look at you the same?
